


Your Company

by AMidnightDreary



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Loneliness, M/M, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Gets a Hug, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:33:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22992502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AMidnightDreary/pseuds/AMidnightDreary
Summary: There's something weird about the concept of missing somebody.
Relationships: Loki/Tony Stark
Comments: 28
Kudos: 229





	Your Company

_ But the loneliness never left me _

_ I always took it with me _

_ But I can put it down in the pleasure of your company. _

\- _No Choir,_ by Florence + The Machine

*

There's something weird about the concept of missing somebody. It has to be some kind of design flaw, Tony thinks; yes, evolution really fucked up there. It didn't  _ need _ to make humans social creatures, and still, there it went and did just that. 

Maybe it forgot that sociality goes hand in hand with loneliness, maybe it just didn't care.

Tony has never really missed anyone before. No, he always just missed the idea of people - the parents Maria and Howard Stark could have been, or the love of his life Pepper could have been, or the family the Avengers could have been.

Maybe he should have missed Jarvis after he had died and JARVIS after he had died, but he had always tried not to. Missing people he would never see or talk to again doesn't get him anywhere. Actually - missing people doesn't get him anywhere, full stop.

Tony is and has always been, deep down in his core, a rational person. Sure, most of the time he seems like he is an impulsive mess of recklessness and rash decisions, he seems like he doesn't care about consequences, like he does what he wants with no regard for anything or anybody else.

And he does do what he wants. And yes, he is reckless, but Tony's not sure if he ever made a single rash decision since Afghanistan.

He always tries to make his decisions carefully, and even when he has only a few seconds to decide, he still thinks about it first. Squeezes as many thoughts as possible into the mere fragment of a second and finally finds the way that results in the least harm. He's quick and analytical; it's not his fault that his brain is faster than everybody else's, it's not  _ his _ fault that everybody else watches him and then goes,  _ Tony, you have to think before you act. Tony, you can't just do whatever you want. Tony, you're lucky nobody got hurt. _

Tony doesn't believe in luck. He believes in  _ efficiency,  _ and his own determination to save as many people as he can, whenever he can. 

In that regard, Tony guesses that he's also a very emotional person. 

Nobody really understands any of this. Well, Rhodey probably does, and Pepper  _ sort of _ does. Tony's constant need to pick apart and protect and  _ make better  _ was just too much for her, and Tony can't blame her. She's still his friend, but all in all she is happier without him, and that's - that's fine, really. Tony doesn't miss her, because he hasn't really lost her; he just lost the idea of what they could have been. He doesn't miss Rhodey, either, because why should he? He'll always be just a phone call away.

As it turns out, you don't realize how much you can miss someone until that person suddenly isn't there anymore.

Loki left Earth about three weeks ago. Well, who is Tony even kidding - Loki left Earth exactly twenty-three days ago. And Tony  _ is _ missing him.

There's nothing rational or analytical about that.  _ Missing someone,  _ that's just plain old emotion, and it's starting to get on Tony's nerves a bit. 

It begins so quickly after waking up every day; Tony lies in bed and stares at the ceiling and thinks,  _ where is he right now? _

It continues when he buries himself in work to distract himself; Tony comes up with a new idea or finishes a new gadget and thinks,  _ fuck, he would love this. _

It ends (and never really ends) when he crawls back into back way past midnight to get two or three hours of sleep; Tony curls up on his side and thinks,  _ why isn't he here? _

He wants Loki to be there. The thing is, though, that Loki got bored very quickly after that whole Thanos business had been dealt with. He left New Asgard just a months after the end of the world had been once again averted, and since then - well, who the hell knows where he is or what he is doing.

Tony doesn't blame him, and he isn't angry. He  _ knows  _ Loki, knows Loki inside out by now, and the last thing he wants is to keep Loki anywhere he doesn't want to be, because Loki has been kept in more than enough places where he didn't want to be. Tony doesn't want to make the same mistakes as every other important person in Loki's life; he wants Loki to be  _ happy. _ And if Loki being happy means Loki not being with Tony, then fine, that  _ is _ the way that results in the least possible harm.

(Tony never really considers his own safety and happiness in his split-of-a-second calculations.)

They already became friends when the ship full with Asgardian refugees landed in Norway. Tony still isn't sure how it happened and he doesn't really care, because what he does know is this: Loki fits him like nobody else every even  _ tried _ to fit him before, and Loki fits him effortlessly. There is no arguing involved, no dissembling or distorting, not even the slightest hint of  _ you have to be better.  _

Between them, it's just  _ you're already good enough, so please don't change. _

Loki understood, and Loki didn't judge, and now he's gone and Tony  _ misses _ him like the lovesick idiot he is.

*

He doesn't think that Loki will come back, because Tony is used to people not coming back.

Loki, however, is nothing if not full of surprises, and he comes back. 

It's a sunny Saturday afternoon and Tony is not working for a change, instead he's sitting outside of his house and has a rather onesided conversation with Gerald, who is generally unimpressed by the fact that Tony is talking to him.

"If I had known that you are already bothering Gerald this much, I would have visited sooner."

For a brief second, Tony thinks he's imagining things, but the Loki that stands just a few feet away from him does look very real. He's wearing normal (read: casual Asgardian) clothes, not his armour, and his hair is a bit longer than Tony remembers and he's  _ smiling  _ \- fuck, he's smiling - and Tony has no fucking clue what's going on.

"I'm not bothering Gerald," he answers automatically. "Gerald loves talking to me. What are you doing here?"

Loki blinks, and his smile disappears. "I… I'm sorry, I shouldn't have just - barged in. I thought you wouldn't mind."

Tony stays where he is, sitting on the floor next to Gerald, who is seems unimpressed by the recent turn of events. Gerald is unimpressed by everything.

"I thought you were - I don't know, realm hopping," Tony says. "Being on an epic magical quest. Annoying lots of people, stealing lots of stuff, you know, your usual hobbies."

"Well, I was," Loki says. "I told you that I would return in a few months, though, didn't I?"

Did he? Oh. He did. Tony keeps staring at his friend. "I didn't think you meant that."

Loki's expression softens. "Of course I meant it. I will stay in Midgard for a while now, too. Do you know if New Asgard has already gone up in flames? I admit that I was a little hesitant to leave Thor alone, but -"

He cuts himself off when Tony stands up and all but throws himself at Loki, wrapping his arms around the mage and holding him close. Loki is stiff at first, but after a moment he chuckles and puts his hands on Tony's back.

"I missed you, Anthony," Loki tells him quietly, and Tony thinks that the concept of hugs is weird, too. They shouldn't be allowed to make someone as happy as Tony is right now, which feels like just about the happiest he's ever been.

*

Loki stays in Tony's house for a while, nevermind Asgard and its Schrödinger state; in this very moment it's both perfectly alright and going up in flames and neither Tony nor Loki could care less.

They are in the kitchen. Making dinner, technically, although said dinner is probably already burning. Tony doesn't care about that, either, because Loki is so  _ close _ that it makes thinking about literally anything else rather hard.

Actually, Loki just wanted to reach past Tony for something, but in yet another surprising turn of events Tony turned around in that exact same moment, and now there are standing basically chest to chest, staring at each other like absolute idiots.

Tony's reasonably sure that Loki has to be able to hear his heartbeat. He's not embarrassed about that, though, because Loki himself is  _ blushing,  _ and that means that they are both nervous, and that means that this is alright.

"Anthony," Loki says.

"Mh hm," Tony says.

Loki swallows visibly, then his tongue darts out to wet his lips. Tony stares at it like it's the most mesmerizing thing he's ever seen, and actually it sort of is.

Loki's hand comes up and he touches his fingers to Tony's cheek, carefully and gently, as if he's scared that Tony will push him away. Tony doesn't, of course he doesn't; Loki touching him is the goddam  _ revelation of the century. _

"Anthony," Loki says again. "May I -"

Anthony interrupts him with a kiss, and although it's brief and soft it leaves his mind reeling. After, they stare at each other for a second or two longer, and then they're already kissing again, firmer this time. Soon enough, Loki is pressing Anthony against the counter, the spatula has long fallen from Anthony's fingers because his hands have much more important things to do, namely bury themselves in Loki's hair and make sure that he doesn't go anywhere anytime soon.

When they finally break apart, they are both out of breath. Again, Loki is the first to speak.

"If I asked you to come with me," he says, "the next time I leave Midgard, what would you say?"

Tony doesn't have to think about that. "Give me five minutes to pack a bag. That's what I'd say."

Loki  _ beams _ and god, he looks so happy and yes, that's it, Tony's done. This is too much for him, his heart is just going to fucking explode in his chest and then he's going to have the whole shrapnel problem all over again.

Only that it might feel a tiny bit more pleasant, this time.


End file.
